Fields of Gold
Yesterday I let the songs on my iPod play in alphabetical order and realized I had three versions of the song “Fields of Gold.” I let them all play, two by Eve Cassidy and one by Sting, as I sang along to all three regardless of key changes and tempo variations. Then I played them all again. Why had this song struck such a chord with me? No one would question it is a beautiful tune, but how many of us need three versions of it on our iPods? Then it hit me. It has always held a special association for me.
A friend had mentioned the Olympics were opening this weekend. Was it a result of subconscious suggestion or merely serendipitous (it doesn’t matter) that the song played three times in a row later that day? Hearing it took me back to the winter Olympics six years ago when Michelle Kwan tried once again to achieve the Gold Medal for herself and her American team. She had already nabbed the silver medal in 1998 after being edged out of the Olympics entirely as a result of the sordid Kerrigan/Harding episode in 1994. She was robbed as much as Ms. Kerrigan but she was only 14 at that time – still plenty of chances to have her day in the spotlight. No matter how great, an athlete only has so many chances at Olympic Gold as time and age nip ferociously at their heels. The fact that Michelle was still in there fighting in 2002 was amazing enough. She was clearly the top contender – we all expected her to win. It would be the pinnacle of her skating career as it was the last of her Olympic attempts. We are so accustomed to happy endings; it seemed a fait accompli.
But she did not win the gold. And that was that. After the first two attempts she could always say, “next time” but in 2002 there would be no next time this time. On the day when her performance counted most she simply wasn’t at her best, merely capturing the bronze medal. It’s hard to imagine the disappointment she must have felt after a lifetime of training. In that one shining moment on the Olympic battle field where everything needs to go right and there are no do-overs something went wrong. My heart went out to her.
During the closing ceremonies she performed an exhibition to the song, Fields of Gold. Like Eve Cassidy’s interpretation of the song, Michelle’s skating was flawless, exquisite. At one point in the routine she dipped down low, her left arm and leg extended behind her in perfect balletic balance as she grazed the ice with her fingertips, lovingly caressing the medium that gave her movement as if in a gesture of appreciation and farewell. As she came upright, her face turned to the spotlight, a stream of tears trailed on her radiant face; the face of a true champion. In that poignant moment we all witnessed the passionate grace of noble woman, replete with heartbreak, utter grace, stalwart pride, full acceptance, head held high.
I don’t know much about Michelle Kwan beyond her amazing skills on the ice but I have some idea of what it must have taken for her to arrive at that moment. One step at a time, day after day, year after year and then… it was over. We all, in our own way, know what it is to give all we have and still come up short. With Fields of Gold fueling the passion of the occasion, we saw in that shining moment that the great among us display acceptance and dignity mingled with the bittersweet satisfaction that proclaims with no uncertainty: I gave it my best shot and I’m proud of me regardless of the outcome.
I don’t remember who won the gold in Salt Lake in 2002 but I will never forget the grace and beauty of the third runner up. The world loves the Olympics because the athletic performances are stunning. We are awed and inspired by the dedication and ability of those warriors who make their way to that elusive venue through raw talent mixed with hard work and fortitude. Perhaps even more than that, we thrill at the authentic human dramas played out during the games. We relate to the victories and losses that are so much a part of all our lives.
Michelle Kwan didn’t win the gold but she inspired and touched my heart in a way I’ll always cherish. She held her head up high, she was fully human, she did her best and because of it she was, that day, my hero. I think of her every time I hear her song.
Watch it and be touched and inspired
